Reddit, SRS, and poop

I wasn’t planning to write on this shit show of a blog anymore. I remembered my ADHD and lack of caring and was like “NAW FUCK THIS SHIT”. I can’t even tell you what my last post was. But look at me, I’m here, and I’m going to rant.

(I’m not drunk, because I’m currently recovering from a week of solid intoxication from my vacation. But I’m considering it).

I like Reddit, sorta. This site is no secret, but for those who are not familiar, it’s sort of like the more “politically correct” /b/.

If you cruise Reddit once in a while, there’s a good chance that you know about /r/ShitRedditSays. Reddit does not like SRS. They call them extremists. They call them hypocrites. I’m not sure where I stand on these claims. I follow them, I read what they quote, and sometimes I agree. Sometimes I disgaree. Sometimes I’m not sure.

The reason Reddit mostly dislikes SRS is because they claim to not be what SRS says they are, which can range from sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. Reddit says: “No! We luv the wymyns! srs r just circaljurkurz lul”..And that’s the end of it. SRS is public enemy, because Reddit is clearly tolerant and open minded and accepting and not deserving at all of what they are being accuse of..

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE /R/BEATINGWOMEN AND /R/MISOGYNY REAL, ACTUAL SUBREDDITS?

Oh, this is going to be fun.

/r/BeatingWomen has the ever endearing slogan of “BECAUSE, FUCK THEM CUNTS!”. Their description is as follows:

“Welcome to BeatingWomen

“There is a beast in everyman. And it stirs when you put a helpless woman in front of him”

Give and get advice on what to do about back talk.

Share your favorite Irish sunglasses stories.

All the posts are HILARIOUS gifs of women getting hit or abused in some way. Sometimes you get a Youtube video of some hilarious misogynistic scene from Family Guy, which is fun. Need a quick summary? Here are some of the Top Post of all time from this subreddit. (WARNING: NSFW).

This is making my stomach turn, so I’m going to have to move on.. To /r/Misogyny? Ugh. I hate my job. (WARNING: Obviously NSFW again).

Entitled “Training”.

Comments:

[–]jbucky1092 2 points 5 months ago

I see it’s facial abuse, but who?

[–]klemensbaum[S] 2 points 4 months ago

no idea. all i know is that she’s some blonde slut who deserves it!

Yeah, rape is hilarious!

This fabulous post was entitled “I like it when they cry”.

Comments:

[–]Rape_SRS_Cunt_Whores 9 points 7 months ago

This whole subreddit might exist for SRS circlejerks, but the jokes on them — images like this make me cum

[–]majikstranger 8 points 7 months ago

yup, i can only cum if they are crying. Sluts arent meant to be happy, only to serve. Once your done fucking them dry you can use the tears to moisten the pussy and go back in.

~Hi SRS

Reddit, the tolerant and accepting family website.

Wimminz and Babiez

Let me start off with the usual “I’m SOOOO sorry I haven’t written life is so hectic and my house is dirty and EXAMS and life and my dog ATE my other blog posts and…” yep. 

I’m just busy and lazy. I knew I wasn’t cut out for this.

Regardless, I am now in the middle of studying for two exams that I have in 5 days, but doing this seems more enjoyable. I’m a glutton for self punishment. 

Here’s some reiterated facts that you know about me: I’m a female, and I like writing. Gosh, I’m typical. So I’m not surprised when some one reacts to finding this out with “Oh.. Well I guess you could be a stay at home mom”. It’s getting old. It’s getting real old. We know that as English majors, jobs will be scarce, and even then, the pay probably won’t be too great. We GET IT. But why am I suddenly assumed to be taking the stay at home mom route?

Oh right, I’m a girl, and I’m too stupid to take another more “credible” major. My uterus will accomplish more than I do (assuming it’s a boy). 

It’s even more funny when this happens with a person I hardly know, a person that A) Doesn’t even know I have a boyfriend and B) I’m sure as hell never discussed kids with. 

This is so jumpy and random. I don’t care.

Why does my major decide that I am the epitome of womanly stereotypes? Will I have to follow in my pre-1990 sistas footsteps and come up with a sweet pseudonym? Do I have to have an affair to get my book some attention? I figured I wouldn’t. It’s fucking 2013. We’ve progressed. We’re different. Woman aren’t expected to do only certain things. 

Oh yeah. Patriarchy.

It gets even worse when they’re right; I DO want kids and if I got to chose, I WOULD be a stay at home mom. I guess to some this means I’m reinforcing their shitty ideas about what it means to be a woman. I guess I’m this anti-advocate for feminism. I guess everyone assumed I’d be in a major like English or Visual Arts or whatever. I am the stereotype.

Writing this is making me more angry than I thought it would. Hm.

I only have a total of four more English courses to take, and I’ll be done my requirements. Considering I’m only in second year, I think that’s pretty good. I’ve had a job since I was 14, and I worked pretty fucking hard at every job I’ve ever had. I support myself. I don’t ever want to have to rely on someone else to support me financially. 

But fuck me, right?

Expect and angry misanthropic blog… Later.

Because procrastination. 

English Hipsters and Nimrod Students

Warning: No wine, just whine.

I’m a pretty tolerant person. I’m a wanna-be activist for human rights and defending equality and all that righteous shit. I’m caring, giving, and selfless.

I also hate people.

I’m a bit of a misanthrope. Okay, I’m a huge misanthrope. For some reason it’s always been normal for me. Something I’ve noticed is, a lot of arts students are like this. I guess that’s why we all hate each other. Maybe we’re just pretentious (Well, not me, because I’m a special snowflake, but whatever).

I hate other English majors. Their standards of “high brow” make me want to punch a blow fish. It’s as if I can’t like Sylvia Plath without being an uneducated twat with no taste. English students are the hipsters of the university world. They look to name unknown (and mostly untalented) artists who write obscure (spell check: fucking stupid) pieces about life. Also, they hate American and European authors. God forbid you’re geographically in the wrong place to be a talented writer. In the end, they hate everything you love and love everything you hate, and their superior intelligence makes their opinion matter. Unlike yours, you uncultured twat.

Actually, scratch that. I hate all students. In the world. Ever. 

Students lose any sense of logic and reason the second they step on campus. Groups of loud assholes blasting their music decide it’s a good idea to hang out in the library. Jerks who don’t need outlets sit at the few tables with outlets despite their people tons of tables without them, leaving us who need electricity to survive through the day hopeless. People complain about smokers while they sit at the benches in the designated smoking areas. People interrupt lectures to ask the most asinine questions (“Should our essay have a title?!” Yes. Yes it should fucking have a title). And don’t get me started on resident students. Oh dear god.

Mostly, I just hate everyone. Maybe it’s my fault my only friends are my room mates (two out of the four, actually), and that I know no one in my program so I always study by myself. But I’ll just take the easier way out instead of admitting my own faults and say that everyone else is the problem.

 

How To Survive a Bachelor of Arts: Part 1

So you’ve made the choice to disappoint your parents and work towards a bachelor of arts. You may currently feel like a vigilante fighting against the evil STEM majors, but I assure you that it gets old real quick. Instead, feelings inadequacy and regret will take over and your feeling of superiority will diminish, causing you to make terrible decisions, like starting a blog. 

I deemed it appropriate to drink myself into a stupor before starting this next part, so if it’s incoherent and difficult to follow, then consider your self lucky. It’s the closest thing to an arts degree that you’re going to get. I planned to add fancy words and interesting transitions, but wine is telling me to fuck it. I’m just going to get this going and if you follow along, I consider myself sober enough to work on my assignments.

Just kidding, I’m not going to work on anything.

Eternal Damnation

Something I’m sure you know, but I’m going to regurgitate to you at nauseum, is that an English (or arts) degree, isn’t going to give you what Kanye would call, “Mad bank”. Finding a job would entail applying to the closest Payless Shoe store, and a job that actually revolves around your degree will be an apprenticeship getting coffee for people who are actually successful. In other words, we have to accept the fact that most of us will be under the poverty line. Pour your glass of wine (cheap wine, I recommend Yellow Tail).

So, do you, like, write about your feelings?

As an arts student, you’re going to have to learn how to respond to many types of questions. The easy ones are people asking you how school is. Don’t get too comfortable with those. Be prepared for the more devious questions, the ones that assume that all you do it write poetry about your feelings. Or that, as a studio major, all you do is finger paint. Or as a humanities major, all you do is… Wait, what do you do again?

This is when you pour your self another glass of wine. I’m way ahead of you.

Procrastination 

Fun fact: thanks to the previously mentioned stupor, I completely forgot about writing and instead made questionable life choices. As such, the decline in quality up over there is pretty obvious. Welcome to the English lit world! This is how you complete assignments, deadlines, etc. To make this as realistic as possible, I have not edited the aforementioned drunken blogging (besides deleting random semi colons. Drunk Mel likes semicolons). Now, pour yourself another glass of wine.. Hair of the dog, right?

P.S. I’m writing this in between Survivor commercials. I don’t half-ass my laziness.

General Bitterness

Arts students tend to be a pretentious bunch who don’t like other arts students. That’s all I have to say about that.

Way more can be said on this. Way more. More as in “I’ve spent hours bitterly ranting about this after a few drinks and I didn’t even scratch the surface” type more. However, my rambling is getting old. I’ll cut you some slack and end this here. You’re welcome.

Just kidding, I’m just hungover.

 

 

 

Mandatory Introductory Post

From what I hear, the first post in a Blog is delicate. It should not be rushed and should be concise and interesting. I suppose I’m supposed to tell you about my charming personality and long list of literary achievements. I suppose I can tell you about my beautiful face and healthy lifestyle that gives me this rocking bod. I definitely shouldn’t admit my odd fascination with Pokemon and cake.

Ugh. This isn’t going to go well.

Let’s do this in order.

1) Concise 

I am doing this in list form because I apparently lack the skill to do this like a regular person would. Concise? Fuck yeah.

2) Interesting

I plan to make a bit of an ass out of myself because that’s just so happens to be something I’m really good at. So I’m sure someone will find that interesting.

3) Charming Personality

Years of social anxiety has turned me into a fidgety, people fearing mess. Meeting new people is about as fun as eating my own arm. But I’m pretty good at inappropriate jokes, making me quite popular with twelve year old boys on Call of Duty and Big Bang Theory fanatics that see the Howard in me.

4) Literary Achievements

I started this blog.

5) Beautiful Face + Awesome Body Combo

I am a glutton who has no fear of calories and permanent acne scarring from my teenage years. My mom thinks I’m pretty.

6) Mel, why are you adding this section. Mel. Stahp it. Mel. STAHP.

I am the worst type of dork out there, the type that Reddit loves to hate and that makes upper-crust dorks cry. I am the ignorant dork. I’ll forever be fascinated by manga, video games, and comic books, but I probably know as much as I did ten years ago. However, I do not fuck around with Pokemon. I probably know more about this childrens’ franchise than I do about my degree, and not by a small amount. Maybe we’ll talk about this another day. Maybe.

Well that was fun. What it good for you, baby? Reading that again, I realize you have learned very little about myself besides the fact that I used to pick my zits and eat my weight in, well, anything. Fine. One more shot.

Freshly twenty, and finishing up my second year at one of the best Universities in Canada, I find myself uninhibited and unmotivated with my practically useless English major. Words are hot, I know, but school… Isn’t. So I’m here, searching for the love in words that I had when I was just a naive highschooler. In the meantime, I’ll tell you about life’s general shenanigans. Quite literally, everything.

Sit tight and lower your expectations, maybe the result won’t be a crash and burn.